1. You use @ everywhere
If you find yourself typing “I will be @thepub” without irony, using @john when you meant to type an email address, putting @ in front of people’s names in forum posts and blog comments or spending Valentine’s Day in the shed because you wrote “@wife” on your partner’s card, you may have a problem.
2. You know the numbers
Here’s a question no sane person can answer instantly: how many friends do you have? Some people hear “friends” as “Twitter friends” and the exact number trips off their tongue. Not only that, but they can tell you how many new friends they added yesterday. You really don’t want to be one of those people.
3. Unfollows make you miserable
Yesterday, you had 32,344 followers. Today, you have 32,343. Cue angry messages to @stoppedfollowingyou demanding an explanation while you sit in front of your PC, rending your garments and weeping softly.
4. Everyone around you is on fire
If you can keep your head when all around are losing theirs, you’ve completely misjudged the severity of the situation. If the people around you are on fire, being attacked by space lizards or turning into flesh-eating zombies, sending a tweet really shouldn’t be at the top of your to-do list.
5. You’re talking like a two-year-old
Hello tweeple! What’s happening in the twitterverse today? How’s my favourite tweeps? Why do twooligans twy to twab me with twives every time I leave the twouse?
Voor de andere 5, klik hier.
Leuk lijstje. Ik zie Twitter en verbaas me over de koempoelan daar, zou het absoluut niet kunnen maar de lol en gezelligheid binnen het virtueel kroegje straalt er vaak vanaf. Ontmoetingspunt van prettig marginaal puntige kletsmajoorderij die ieder wel wil maar zich irl zo zelden voordoet. Kan me je enthousiasme voorstellen.